Amiciter
by DanieXJ
Summary: Something slightly different that happened after Rampage. Kerry and Jeanie reunite. Not my best work ever .
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.

Summary: Something slightly different that happened after Rampage. Kerry and Jeanie reunite.

A/N: Not my best work, but I believe it has a good underlying feeling to it, maybe, if you squint really hard at it, even if the words aren't the most polished I've written. I just don't really love the story anymore. Still, I wrote it, so here it is.

* * *

Kerry mumbled mild invectives as she stared down at a chart. The atmosphere in the ER was back to being tenser than a Anterior Cruciate Ligament. The only person who even spoke to Kerry was Randi, and she usually paid the price for that.

"Luka..." Luka didn't say a word as he moved towards the admit desk. Kerry looked at the swarm of informants for the hospital's gossip mill and shook her head, "The lounge."

She led the way and gestured towards the table. Luka sat, and Kerry leaned against the window. "You're a great Doctor Luka, no one has ever said anything other than that, but you need to distance

yourself." A minuscule smirk came to Kerry's face, "You might be a saint, but I need you not to act like one."

Luka frowned, "So, if someone comes in hurt, do I let them stay injured?"

Kerry shook her head, and took a deep breath, "No, that's your job. I would never say don't treat someone Luka. Just don't try to change their life for the better."

Luka stood up and moved the chair back in, "I'm not sure I can do that Kerry."

Kerry shrugged a little almost in concession, "At least be more discrete when you try to solve the world's problems Luka. Okay?"

A small smile appeared on Luka's face, and an understanding look, "Ah, I see, I will do my best Kerry."

Kerry nodded, "That's all we can do everyday."

Luka started to speak but Kerry shot a silencing look at him, "Right..."

As Luka left the room Kerry shook her head, and slowly followed him. She strolled over to the admit desk and took a fresh glance at the basically clear board, and placed her name next to a patient.

She walked into the exam room took one look and spoke, "Don't move a muscle."

Abby and the woman on the bed both looked up. The woman's face creased into the beginnings of a grin, while Abby clenched her jaw, "Yes, Dr. Weaver?"

Kerry moved towards the bed, "What are you doing?" Abby started to speak, "Who ordered this?"

Abby looked confused, "Gal...Carter...why?"

Kerry closed her eyes, "Thank you Abby. Look, I'll sort this out. I think Chuny and Yosh were talking loudly about the fact that they needed help with something in four." Abby winced.

The woman chuckled as she readjusted herself on the uncomfortable bed. "Do you still eat Med students for breakfast?" She had the slightest twinkle in her eyes as she said this.

Kerry rolled her eyes, but at the same time her face lit up with a light that had gone out months ago. "Well, Jeanie Boulet Moore, yes, he was a med student, but a relatively new one. So no chewing out

of yet. Still John should have imparted the taking of a history before now. Hell, Gallant should know to anyway."

Jeanie held up a hand, "Actually to be fair. I was unconscious at the time, and it's just Jeanie Boulet."

Kerry rubbed the bridge of her nose as she put down Jeanie's chart. "Just tell me that he didn't do it?"

Jeanie's laugh reverberated to the soles of Kerry's shoes. "No, he didn't. I thought that you had stopped mentoring people after you became chief? You are still the chief? It has only been a year since we last talked."

Kerry shrugged, "Gallant soaks up everything that is thrown his way, I delivered a baby via C-section with his help while the mother was still alive. And both survived. But I feel bad that I haven't dropped you a line, even an email. Life's been...busy for me, Basically a series of penalty kicks taken from 12 feet away that all have been directed at my head."

Jeanie nodded, "Yeah, a lot has happened this year. A lot has changed."

Kerry nodded, "Same here. Now, down to business 'kay? What happened?"

Jeanie smiled at Kerry's double clutch from friend to doctor, "Nothing. I just passed out."

Kerry shot Jeanie a stern look, "Just...? Have you been sick, do you have any other symptoms. Lightheadedness, double vision, nausea, coldness of your extremities."

Jeanie raised her eyebrows at the last one, and looked down at her hands, "None of them. Today was a good day actually."

Kerry took a step back after examining Jeanie, "You look fit as a fiddle." Jeanie started to get up, "But..."

Jeanie frowned, "What?"

Kerry was writing something, "Give me a sec..."

Jeanie groaned, "How about this..."

Kerry looked up, "What?"

Jeanie leaned back a little, "We get something to eat or drink and catch up."

Kerry stared back at Jeanie for a second before her face creased into a smile, "Sure, we could try to go over to Doc Magoos or something."

Jeanie smiled, "Do they still have the clotburgers?"

Kerry laughed as she looked over Jeanie's chart one last time, "They've gotten worse, or better if you like the clotting part."

Gallant walked into the room and did a quick about face and exited.

Kerry shook her head and started out the door of the room, "Gallant..."

Jeanie chuckled, "The more things change, the more they stay the same."


	2. Chapter 2

Jeanie leaned against the admit desk and surveyed the ER. She smiled to herself as the rush of the place curled around her. "Can I help you Miss?"

Jeanie turned to the man speaking, "Don't think so." She watched an only slightly down trodden Gallant move towards a family waiting in chairs. "She must have gotten better at it."

"Reaming out poor Med Students, nope, she just does it in private."

Jeanie turned and smiled. "Susan, hey, how've you been? I thought you were in Arizona?"

Susan smiled and shook her head, "Dating pool is horrendous. Course, it's warmer. I didn't know that you still worked here. I thought that I had met everyone all over again."

Jeanie smiled, "No, I don't work here. Just...meeting a friend."

Susan nodded, "Have you been back for long?" Jeanie shook her head negatively, "For me nothing seemed to change..." Susan glanced back at Frank, "Except for the clerk, well, and Kerry the tyrant is still here...Have you seen her yet?"

Jeanie didn't answer at first, but had that same twinkle in her eye, "Something like that."

Susan shook her head, "She didn't even tell me that County had an opening. She's stuck here you know, never going to make anything of herself."

From across the room came a bellow, "Weaver..."

Susan rolled her eyes, "You'd think those two were an item or something. Sparks are always flying around them..."

They both watched as Romano got way too far into Kerry's face. It wasn't long before Romano stalked off and Kerry made her way towards the admit desk. She snapped, "Don't you have someone to treat Dr. Lewis?"

Susan rolled her eyes and whispered, "It must be that time of month huh?"

Jeanie rolled her eyes as Susan walked off, "You all set?"

Kerry nodded, "Yep. You're all done?" Jeanie nodded and they made their way over to Doc Magoos. They both took one step into the placed and winced at the crowdedness of it.

Jeanie quipped, "So, take out?"

Kerry nodded in agreement and gave Anne, the woman at the counter, her order. Jeanie did the same. Once they got their food they were out of there as fast as their feet could take them. They glanced around, "Any ideas?"

Jeanie slowly nodded as she glanced down at the sidewalk covered with black ice and back up, "Ice Skate...let's ice skate. Eat first of course, I'm so hungry I could eat a house."

Kerry raised an eyebrow, "Sure...how about this. We eat this stuff before it gets cold and clammy at my place. I pick up my skates there. Probably have an old pair you can use. Those rental ones are disgusting."

As they made their way to Kerry's care Jeanie finally asked, "You skate?"

Her voice sounded so disbelieving that Kerry just had to laugh. "Let's just say, not alone, and I look quite a sight out there on the ice. Not pretty at all."

"I doubt that..."

Kerry climbed into the drivers seat of the car. "What did you say?"

"Just that I can't wait to skate..."


	3. Chapter 3

Kerry set her cup down on the coffee table, "That was fun, froze my ass off, but it was fun."

Jeanie laughed, "You were right, you weren't the most graceful of skaters out there."

Kerry shrugged and smiled, "Hey, I warned you it wasn't pretty."

Jeanie started to speak, but lapsed back into silence. The both sipped their hot chocolate.

Kerry finally broke the silence, "So, it sounds like we've both been busy?"

Jeanie nodded and leaned back, she jumped when music blasted from the speakers. Kerry practically dove across the sofa at Jeanie. As Kerry reached under her Jeanie quickly jumped up, and Kerry found the remote and turned down the music.

Jeanie slowly sat down as Kerry retreated back to her side of the couch. "Sorry about that."

Jeanie blinked a few times, "What was that?"

"John Williams conducting an orchestra."

Jeanie nodded, her head bobbing around a little more than she anticipated, "Ah right,...who...?"

Kerry smiled a little, "It is part of the Star Wars Episode 1 soundtrack. John Williams has done all of them, and a lot of other movies too. Anyway...Sandy introduced me to Star Wars. I kinda got hooked when some of the guys at the station house had a Star Wars movie night."

Jeanie stared off towards the entertainment center, "So, one of the changes, you have a boyfriend. EMT?"

Kerry looked down for a second, took a deep breath and looked back up, "No, actually she was a firefighter. We broke up three months ago.

Jeanie blinked, "Wow."

Kerry smiled very nervously, "Is that...what...do you...I..."

Jeanie finally smiled softly, "Now, don't start babbling. I mean, remember that staff party, you couldn't shut up. I thought that Romano was going to seal your mouth shut with duct tape."

Kerry blushed deep red, "God, you had to bring that up. I was stone cold drunk Jeanie..." Kerry brought her right hand up to her face, "That means other people remember it too...God."

Jeanie smiled, "Aw, c'mon, that's okay. Makes you human." Kerry nodded very slowly. "You haven't told many people though huh?"

Kerry nodded, "Before Sandy and I broke up she outed me pretty convincingly with a kiss in full view of the ER."

Jeanie frowned, "That bitch."

Kerry blinked a few times, and shook her head, "She was right of course, I wasn't a whole person." She shrugged, "I could have pulled away, I could of slapped her, I could have done so many things." Kerry

shrugged again, "I just kissed back."

"If you shrug any more your shoulders might fall off you know." Kerry laughed, and Jeanie continued, "Has there been any fallout." She paused for a moment to take a sip of hot coco. "Susan seems to be her

same old self. Still doesn't like not being in charge huh?"

Kerry almost snorted hot chocolate up her nose. "She almost was actually. But that's a long story."

Jeanie held her hands out, "I've got nothin' but time."

Kerry smiled, "What about you, what has been happening in your life? How are Carlos and Reggie doing?"

Jeanie rolled the empty mug between her two hands as she stared into it, "Dead and Divorced. Not in that order."

Kerry's eyebrows contracted, "What...how about we go make some more hot chocolate."

Kerry got up, and Jeanie followed Kerry into the kitchen, "Can we infuse it with some sort of alcoholic beverage?"

Kerry shrugged, "Probably not the single malt." When Jeanie didn't react to this Kerry turned back towards her. "Hey, what's wrong? What happened..."


	4. Chapter 4

Jeanie collapsed into one of the kitchen chairs, "Carlos took a turn for the worst about two years ago. Never pulled out of it. Ker, it was like I was losing a part of my soul. That day that you and Adele

handed over Carlos was the best day of my life."

Kerry sat down next to Jeanie and nudged the chair over so that they were sitting hip to hip, "What happened with Reggie? You guys were head over heels in love."

Jeanie shrugged as she took the mug that Kerry offered, "I don't know, it just disintegrated at an alarming rate. God, we even went to counseling to try to fix whatever it was. I had only been divorced

from him for a few months when Carlos died. Carlos was my life Kerry."

Kerry took hold of one of Jeanie's hands, "How have you gotten through all that up until now?"

"Denial. But now I'm back here, and...I just...it's harder." Jeanie took a deep breath. "I guess we've both had a rough time."

Kerry smiled sympathetically, "I think that your past year has been harder than my little mid life melodrama."

Jeanie turned towards, "You always do that don't you. Put everyone else before yourself, and not just patients. Is that what happened with Susan being in charge."

Kerry took a deep breath and let go of Jeanie's hand, "We should probably go somewhere more comfortable than this for my story."

Jeanie led Kerry back out into her living room and they both settled down on the couch. Kerry took a gulp of her hot chocolate, winced, and started speaking. "I guess I'll just start at the beginning. One day I was having the shittiest day imaginable, half the hospital workers were on strike. I was lucky that the nurses were still there. So into the lounge walks this blonde. She says something about the parents of

one of the children or something, I still don't know. Anyway, I go off on her, basically in not so nice tones ask who the hell she is, and what the hell she thinks I can do for her. Now, as you know, I do that

more often than not." Jeanie smirked a little, "Yeah, exactly, the surprising thing was that she shot right back something about reading memos and that she sure as hell didn't have to put up with this, and

that if I wanted to know what she had to say I could call Psych and ask for Legaspi."

Kerry took another drink of hot coco. "Well, I was flummoxed. Even Doug had never given it back as good as he got it. After I had cooled down a little." Jeanie raised her eyebrows, "Oh, all right, after I

had gone upstairs and reamed out Robert for not dealing with the striking workers. I am happy to say that they got a damn good package after that little talk." Jeanie smiled, "On the way down I stopped at

the Psych ward. Knocked on the window. The blonde opened the door for me and she led me to her office. She sat down, I sat down, and so started the friendship of Kim Legaspi and Kerry Weaver. It could have ended there, but it didn't. Kim had been, I guess the best word for it would be whining, about how she wasn't going to be able to spend Thanksgiving with her family. Well, as you know, I always have soo much to do on holidays." Jeanie patted one of Kerry's shoulders as Kerry took another sip of hot chocolate. "Right, so, I invited her out for Thanksgiving. It was great, there weren't a ton of people there that night. We talked...a lot, we closed the place down we talked so much. I told the story of the guy who swallowed all that hardware."

Jeanie interrupted Kerry here, "Hey, that was funny, but doesn't that prominently involve your husband."

Kerry nodded, "Yeah, at the time, I really had no idea why I glossed over that part of the story. I also managed to spill my wine all over Kim. We did get serious that night though, she told me about watching her brother die after they had been hit by a drunk driver." Kerry sniffed a little. Jeanie pulled Kerry towards her. Kerry raised an eyebrow but leaned against Jeanie's shoulder. "After she finished that story the dinner went downhill fast after that. She joked around about the second dinner together being a date. Questioned if I knew that she was gay. I of course spoke so brilliantly. 'I don't mind, I have gay friends.' What ensued was so awkward, I backpedaled so much, she backpedaled too, trying to explain why she had thought that we were out on dates. I finally stated what had been doing one second laps around my brain for the last thirty seconds; that I had never considered it."

Jeanie interjected again, Kerry huffed at the fact that Jeanie was making this story even longer than it had to be, "Had you? Considered it?"

Kerry shook her head, "You should know that Jeanie. I have always been about my work, nothing else, I even let my work get in the way of our friendship. I fired you for cripes sake. So, no, I really hadn't. She

didn't really believe me, I don't think that at that point she was even really listening to me. She backed off though. But it just got weirder and weirder. I got the hiccups."

Jeanie rolled her eyes, "You know, you should be a soap writer, is there a point to any of this?"

Kerry bumped Jeanie with her elbow, Jeanie groaned, and Kerry turned around. "I...I'm sorry. I didn't."

Jeanie pulled Kerry back, "Don't worry about it, I've gotten worse from meaner people." Kerry tried to move, but Jeanie wouldn't let her. "Are you uncomfortable?"

Kerry shot back, "Are you?"

Jeanie shook her head negatively, "Nope, are you going to finish this story today?"

Kerry huffed, "Anyway...Kim did manage to cure my hiccups, with a kiss. I had gotten her a book for Christmas. It is ironic because we were not at all on the same page at that time. She kissed me like I've

never been kissed before. Then she left me in the lounge thinking over and over about what I had just said. I had explained to her that we were comfortable together, we had a lot in common. I thought of us as friends, maybe even one day best friends. I didn't care that she was gay. I was so open minded about other people, it was me who I was having the most trouble with. After that I avoided her like the plague, which, of course didn't work. I even chewed her out again for disagreeing with me in front of Carter. She basically laughed at that. At the end of the day I knew that I had to talk to her, it wasn't

until we were sitting in the booth at Doc Magoos and she told me not to worry, that soon we would just be friendly co-workers again, I realized that after all the agonizing and thinking that I had been

doing over couple of weeks, I did know one thing, I didn't want to just be friendly co-workers with her anymore. When she finally started to leave, I was in front of her within a second. I asked her to stay,

and those eyes, her eyes, they practically penetrated my soul. She stayed, and we started to go out...but I wasn't out. That was the biggest of our problems. Kim was almost the poster child for outness, she was just so comfortable with herself."

Jeanie felt Kerry tense up, "One night there was a gigantic train crash. A teenage girl had been trying to commit suicide, she didn't succeed, and Kim was the one who talked to her. Soon after that the

girl accused Kim of sexually harassing her. Jeanie, I didn't even stick up for her, it was worse than when you got fired. I had no spine at all, and she was suspended. We broke up over that." Jeanie started

to speak but Kerry interrupted her, "That's not the end though. A few weeks later Kim got fired by Romano, I gave him a piece of mind, in the Men's bathroom of all places. I threatened him with all sorts of things to get Kim's job back. He was actually the first one I came out to. It was too late though, Kim left for San Francisco not long after that. I still don't know exactly where she is. I also went to Africa."

Jeanie nodded, "To see the guy that you practically assaulted on that Christmas Eve?"

Kerry laughed at the memory, "Could you tell that I was glad to see Mlungisi? Yes, and it felt like I spent the whole time crying into his shoulder. He was the second person I came out to. Let's just say that he has been better about it than Romano. He of course, spent most of my three weeks there ribbing me about my short lived relationship with him, and how did that mean that he was a woman?"

Kerry chuckled lightly, "He did manage to get me most of the way out of my funk. Anyway...that was my past year."

Jeanie yawned and snapped her mouth closed. Kerry pulled away from her and shook her head, "Why didn't you say that you were tired, and here I told you my mind numbingly boring story."

Jeanie chuckled through another yawn, "It wasn't that boring, but I am more tired than I first thought I was."

"Do you have some place to stay?" Jeanie shook her head, "Where exactly where you when you passed out?"

Jeanie looked towards the intricate designs of the coffee table, "At a hotel." Kerry started to speak, "They were cutting up my credit card."

Kerry didn't even blink, "Then you're staying here. I don't have a guest room per say, but no one is in the apartment downstairs."

"I couldn't...I..."

Kerry shushed Jeanie, "If you didn't want to, you could have lied. Now it's too late." Jeanie rolled her eyes and followed Kerry to the linens closet.


	5. Chapter 5

"Damnit, something better be on fire."

Jeanie stared up from her cup of coffee as Kerry came barreling into the kitchen with her blaring pager in hand. She tossed it to Jeanie, "I can't get the damn thing to turn off...overload or some stupid shit

like that."

As Kerry went into the Living room to find her cell phone Jeanie stared at the pager bouncing in her hand, "And I'm supposed to know how to do that how?" She pressed the buttons in a few different

combinations, but finally looked around to see if Kerry was watching, and slammed it against the counter with a medium amount of force. She sighed, relieved when it stopped making its awful sound.

Kerry walked back into the kitchen with a pained look on her face, she mouthed Kim, and pointed towards the T.V. "Are you okay though Kim?"

Jeanie reached over and turned on the T.V. Kerry almost dropped the phone as the picture came into focus. "Oh my lord Kim. I...I have to go."

"Thank you Kim...but...yes, that's what I plan on doing. Call me later though, just...just..." Kerry hit the end button, and dialed the preset for the hospital. Kerry didn't even identify herself, "I'll be in as soon as I'm able."

Randi on the other end responded, "It isn't bad yet chief. No one's heard from Frank though."

Kerry nodded, "Keep the place together, I'll be in."

Jeanie held her head in her hands, "This couldn't get any worse."

"Once I get to the hospital, it will be."

Jeanie looked up and stared at Kerry, "I want to go with you."

Kerry started to say no, and then shrugged, "Randi'll need some help. She's good, but not that good. And with Frank missing...I'm ready in five minutes..."

Jeanie nodded to Kerry's unspoken hint of quickness, "Do...what?"

Kerry started to turn off the T.V. but stopped for a second as the anchor said, "At this time they don't know what caused the massive explosion."


	6. Chapter 6

Kerry strode into the ER with Jeanie on her heels, "Are the Trauma rooms ready?"

Abby answered and fell in with the two ladies, "Yes, fully stocked. Believe me, I checked three minutes ago. And everyone has been called in. Now, we hope that we have survivors to treat."

Kerry nodded and scanned the ER, "Where is Haleh? Yosh? the PA...Casey?"

Abby shook her head, "We don't know. But the roads are probably hell."

Kerry nodded distractedly, "Mark?"

"He and his family are coming in." Abby followed the two women into the lounge and stood next to Jeanie as Kerry put away her things in her locker. "Now, here's what is going to happen. Jeanie, you'll help Randi with whatever's going to happen. Abby, stick to me like glue, and grab Gallant when he gets in." Abby winced, "Once Mark gets here, he's got Triage have, get someone to assist him."

Kerry slammed the locker door closed and went towards the back. "Have everyone get ready for hell...We will not have any screw ups..."

Abby nodded and went out of the lounge, Jeanie looked at Kerry worriedly, "Are you okay Ker?"

Kerry responded sarcastically as she turned around and quickly slipped on the green scrubs. She turned towards Jeanie, "It...it is different than the last time something this bad happened."

Jeanie nodded, "Why?"

From outside the lounge came Abby's voice, "Dr. Weaver..."

Kerry took a deep breath, "I'll tell you later..." Jeanie nodded and let Kerry out of the lounge first.

* * *

"Take a break" Romano pulled off his drenched gloves and gown, and started scrubbing out next to a visibly drooping Kerry.

Kerry shook her head, "No, you've been doing this as long as I have. Are the rescue workers taking a break?"

"Take. A. Break." Kerry just shook her head this time to tired to even answer. "Do I have to threaten to fire you Dr. Weaver?"

Kerry leaned against a wall. "I guess I could go get something to drink."

Romano nodded, "Do whatever you feel is best Kerry." Kerry made a rude face at Romano as he walked away. She tried to rub the sleep out of her eyes, but that had stopped working about three hours ago. She finally just shook her head and went towards the lounge. Gallant called out her name, "What Michael? I'm taking a break, can it wait?"

Gallant nodded, "Yes Ma'am it can. If I may say so, you look like shit."

Kerry smiled a little, "Work on the pick-up lines Gallant, they're crappier than mine."

She was almost at the lounge door when Luka put a hand on her back, "Are you okay Kerry?" He said in his distinct accent. "You look a bit haggard."

"So I've been told." Luka started to speak again, but Kerry interrupted her, "I'm going into the lounge to rest now. Don't start."

Luka nodded seriously and moved out of the way of Kerry, who didn't look at anything but the couch. She walked over to it and sank down into it with a sigh. She jumped when Jeanie spoke, "Kerry, took you long enough."

Kerry sighed tiredly, "What do you want Jeanie?"

Jeanie raised her eyebrows at Kerry, "You must be really tired. I just wondered how you are doing?"

Kerry snapped, "Fine considering that we now don't have an O'Hare airport, but instead a rubble heap formerly known as O'Hare. Who the hell would do this sort of thing?"

Jeanie shrugged, "Bin Laden?"

Kerry shrugged also, "I just...I can't get up the energy to care. Ask me after I take a nap."

Jeanie patted Kerry on the shoulder, "You've been at it, well, I'd have to check a clock. Let's just say a long time. Rest up..."

Kerry waited until Jeanie was out the door to roll her eyes and lay her head back against the couch. "Why do I think this is only the beginning of something."


	7. Chapter 7

Kerry's cell phone ran, waking her. She raised an eyebrow at the fact that Jeanie's head was resting on her shoulder. And wondered when that had happened. She gently extracted herself answered her phone as she walked to the other side of the room. "Dr. Weaver."

There was a sigh on the other end of the phone. "It's good to hear your voice Kerry."

"Kim, I'm sorry, I said I was going to call you...God..." Kerry rubbed the bridge of her nose.

Kim spoke in a reassuring voice, "You're more than busy. Believe me, I understand. And don't rub your nose to a bloody stub Kerry."

Kerry's eyes crossed as she stared at the hand that was going to repeat the motion. Kerry instead shook her head and mumbled under her breath.

"What'd you say Kerry? We must have gotten cut off by static." Kim didn't wait for Kerry to speak, "Actually I had an ulterior motive for calling. I'm coming back to Chicago. Kara...she works part time...at O'Hare...I..."

Kerry looked down, "You're whole life was here huh...and you..." she trailed off, not saying the rest of her statement.

Kerry could almost see Kim shrugging on the other end of the line, "I actually have a big gigantic favor to ask..."

Kerry interrupted Kim, "Your sister? I'll find out..."

"Yes, thank you."

Kerry frowned a little, "I owe you more than you know. I'll see you...whenever. Be careful Kim."

"Yes. soon...Take care of yourself. Sleep."

They both hung up. Kerry slowly closed her phone and looked up to Jeanie staring back at her. "Hi."

Jeanie got up, "Are you okay?"

"What?"

Jeanie pointed at the phone, "Bad news?"

Kerry shook her head, "No, just stuff. Any news?"

"Randi got a call from Doug, Carol and the twins wondering how everyone was." Kerry rolled her eyes and Jeanie continued, "There was also a call from somewhere in Africa I think. Short, to the point....no one could pronounce the guy's name. Don't know how he found out so fast..."

Kerry smiled, "Mlungisi? Does he know I'm all right?"

Jeanie nodded, "He said something about spreading the news. Are you popular over there?"

Kerry smiled embarrassedly, "Not in all of Africa. Only his and the surrounding villages. It's not everyday that a white lady with a crutch and red hair can speak their language fluently."

Jeanie nodded, "One of these days you have to tell me every sordid detail about Africa."

Kerry stared at Jeanie, and shrugged, "Someday maybe..."

"I mean, you can go back to the house or whatever, but I think I'm going to be here for a while longer. There's a key under the tomato plant next to the back door."

"I'm not sure what I'll do. Don't worry about me."

Kerry started to speak, but stopped herself and just left the lounge. She stopped at the admit desk, "Frank, we were worried."

Frank shrugged, "No punk assed Arab students with chips on their shoulders are going to off me. Should just be hung by their tonsils..."

Kerry tuned out Frank and turned to Brenda, who had come down with Romano, and Randi, "How are you doing down here Brenda?"

Brenda blinked a few times and shrugged, "Rapid fire requests, phones ringing off the hook, gore and carnage, not unlike working for Dr. Romano."

Kerry bit her lip as they curled up into a smile. From behind a curtain came Romano's voice, "I heard that Brenda."

Brenda practically bit her tongue off so as not to respond.

Kerry spoke again to Brenda, "So then you think you and Frank can handle things for a short bit. I need Randi for something."

Brenda shrugged, "Don't see why not. And I'm gonna count to see if Randi has all her body parts when she gets back."

Randi was the one who rolled her eyes, "You'll get the admit desk wit eventually. But keep your day job."

Randi followed Kerry to an out of the way nook in the Emergency Department. She raised her eyebrows when she saw it was Kerry's office. She looked around as she sat, "Quaint. You'd think they'd give you a better view for all the crap they put you through."

Kerry sat down and stifled a groan at the paperwork on the desk. "I don't spend much time here."

"You're a field general. So, what can I do for you Gn'rl?"

Kerry raise an eyebrow and jotted down three names on a sheet of paper. "You're good at finding things out Randi. Would you see if you can find out. About their...status...I know that soon...but...please."

Randi nodded, now all business, "I will do what I can Dr. Weaver."

Kerry tilted her head to one side, "No chief, Gn'rl, Doc?"

Randi shrugged, "I...today..." Randi stopped and started over, "I'm not always respectful to you and the other doctors. I never thought that it could happen here. You know, explosions, bombings and all

that. I know people who work at the airport...I..."

Kerry nodded. Randi stood up, followed by Kerry. Randi started out the door but then turned around, "Look, I respect you," and left.


	8. Chapter 8

**Three Days Later**

* * *

Kerry frowned at the piece of paper, "Hey Abby..."

Abby looked over from where she was getting something. "Yeah Doc."

Kerry rolled her eyes, it seemed that Randi's new nickname for her had caught on. "Who won this years Super Bowl, you know, in February?"

Abby thought for a second, "I'm pretty sure it was the Patriots. I remember my brother going crazy."

Kerry nodded, wrote it down, and signed the piece of paper with a flourish, "Thanks..."

Randi smiled as she and a blonde walked into the lounge. She spotted Kerry, "Hey Doc, look who I found..."

Kerry looked up from the desk, "I give up."

The woman smirked a little, "I'm Kara Legaspi."

Kerry nodded, "Have you talked to Kim yet?"

Kara also nodded, "She's coming in today right?"

Kerry got up and stuck a hand out. Kara shook it, "Yes, I'm supposed to meet her in a bit. How are you doing?"

Kara shook her head and took a deep breath, "I was lucky, some of my co-workers weren't. I..."

Kerry raised an eyebrow at Randi who rolled her eyes, "Right, work. I'll get on it."

Randi left and Kerry gestured towards the couch. Kara sat down and spoke, "So you're picking Kim up at the train station?"

Kerry nodded, "I'm not sure why, but yes."

"Because she loves you." Kara stated in a matter of fact voice.

Kerry shook her head as she went over to her locker. "I don't think so."

Kara stood up and faced Kerry as she took her jacket out of her locker and put it on. "I know this isn't exactly the best time, we're all...it isn't the best time. Love doesn't have to mean wild passionate sex Dr. Weaver. There is middle ground, I love my best friend like you wouldn't believe, but I'm not in love with her, and have never even had the thought of being with her. Love isn't black and white, it is more of a...well...purple in your case."

Kerry slammed her locker closed with the maximum amount of force necessary, "Interesting observations you have about me. Are you going to come to the train station with me to pick up your sister?"

Kara colored a little, "Guess that I haven't gotten out all the college student that was in me huh?"

Kerry looked back at Kara from the door of the lounge, "No, I think it's the Legaspi in you."


	9. Chapter 9

"No, no, no, I think that the sore will heal Mr. Crantos...No, don't thank me...Yes, I'll be glad to see my family. Good-bye Mr. Crantos." Kim finally stepped out from the stairwell and into the main area of

the station followed by a balding man. She scanned for red. When she saw that Kara was with Kerry she breathed a sigh of relief. She smiled, "I feel so much better just seeing you." They hugged. Kim turned towards Kerry, "Hello Kerry."

Kerry nodded, "Hello Kim."

Kim didn't let go of Kara but held out her other arm. Kerry and Kim half hugged. "Thank you for finding Kara."

Kerry looked down, "I can't take any credit for it really. Have you talked to Christie yet? Kate? What about Charlie? Isn't he an airline pilot?"

Kim shook her head as they walked towards the car park. "I...I don't know."

Kara squeezed Kim, "We'll find them Kimmy. Mom and Dad called. They're going to head home as soon as they can."

Kim put a hand on her forehead, "This is going to be such a long ordeal."

Kara laid her head down on one of Kim's shoulders, "Everyone is okay Kim, take it one step at a time, your family is okay."

Kim nodded as she picked up her suitcase and walked out of the station with Kerry and Kara on either side.

* * *

Kerry stared at Jeanie across her kitchen counter. "Explain to me again how this happened that I have two new people living downstairs?"

"Because you're not the alpha bitch that everyone thinks you are?"

Kerry rolled her eyes, "I guess that's one way to put it."

The skin around Jeanie's eyes wrinkled into a smile, "Give it up Weaver, you're a softie."

Kerry started to respond, but the phone rang, "Dr. Weaver...Yes, hello Captain. No, I'm at home. What...but...her sis...pare...cous...No, no, I'll...I'll be right there."

Jeanie frowned, "Captain?"

Kerry turned off the stove, put the contents of the pot into a Tupperware, and put it in the fridge. I need to go over to County. That was the Captain from the 38. Sandy is there, and she's asking to talk to me. I..."

Jeanie nodded, "Why don't I continue making dinner Ker?..."

Kerry shrugged, "I guess. I..."

Jeanie placed a hand on Kerry's shoulder, "I'm not the best cook, but I can follow directions."

"Thank you." Kerry grabbed her wallet and jacket and turned back towards Jeanie, "Thank you."

Jeanie waved her hands in a shooing manner, "Go, go. I'll feed the blonde horde."

Kerry started to speak, but Jeanie shooed her again, and she left the house.

Kim peaked in the doorway, "Hello, Jeanie right?" Jeanie nodded as she took the Tupperware back out of the fridge. "Is Kerry all right?"

Jeanie grabbed the pot out of the sink and gave it a good once over with soap and water, "She went to see a friend at the hospital."

Kim nodded, "I hope everything is all right."

"So do I Kim."

Kim stared at what Jeanie was making, "What the hell is that by the way?"


	10. Chapter 10

"Captain?"

Chen came over to Kerry and interrupted her, "Good, you're here, I don't have to page you. Not that you'd get it."

Kerry held up a hand, "No, I'm not here. Get someone else, add to that the fact that you think that even though you disrespect me you still have a right to call on me as everyone else does. Now...excuse me, I

was talking to the Captain."

As Chen walked away the Captain smiled, "Ah, underling trouble." He shrugged mentally when Kerry didn't even crack a small smile. "Sorry, guess lightning the situation is harder than usual these days."

Kerry shook her head and put a slightly more amiable look on her face, "Sorry anyway...Sandy?"

The Captain led the way, "She was trying to rescue someone when a part of the infrastructure collapsed. Lopez took the brunt of it..." They entered Sandy's room, "Even though she knows she shouldn't have, a rescuer is no good if they themselves can't get out of a situation." Sandy didn't say a word, "I'll leave you two alone."

Kerry looked at the Captain's back as she sat down next to Sandy's bed, "Does he always talk that much Sand?"

Sandy rolled her eyes and put a hand nearer to Kerry's, "Not really. I think I pissed him off."

Kerry took hold of Sandy's hand, "Did the person survive?"

"Of course."

Kerry tilted her head to one side, "What about you Sandy?"

Sandy stared at the ceiling, "Live, yes, walk, probably not. Never heard of a paraplegic firefighter."

Kerry brought her other hand to rest on top of Sandy's. "Is it for sure?"

"No"

Kerry frowned, "Then why are you giving up so easily?"

"Because they basically said that it would take an act of God to accomplish it. I think that I've pissed on that particular rug a little much. Plus, what's the point, so I walk, there is no way that I'll ever be a firefighter again." Sandy tried to inch her hand out of Kerry's hands.

Kerry kept her grip tight as she spoke, "So, be an EMT, a nurse," Kerry smiled, "Hell, be a doctor."

Sandy smiled a tiny bit, "I'll become a nurse or doctor when I grow green horns on my head and start quacking like a duck. An EMT....what the hell am I talking about. I can't walk Kerry."

Kerry took a deep breath, "It has barely even been an hour since they stabilized your injury, I'm assuming here, but they've given you all the right drugs, corticosteroids and the such, they found you in less than ten minutes. You didn't move after it collapsed?"

Sandy nodded, "Have they already told you that you're paralyzed?" Sandy shook her head negatively. "Why don't you wait until that happens then?"

Sandy spoke in a small voice, "But what if I am paralyzed?"

Kerry squeezed Sandy's hand, "Well, I once knew this woman, and I distinctly remember her saying something about how I owed her for outing me."

"What the hell does that mean Weaver?"

Kerry removed her hands and frowned, "You aren't alone in this Sandy. Look, I love you Sandy, you are one of my best friends. But dammit Lopez, you can be a horses ass and stubborn pig all at the same time. This isn't the end of your life, if you can't see that, then I have to wonder why you once did go out with me..."

Kerry stormed out of the room and almost slammed into Chen. "Dr. Weaver, Kerry, I was just looking for you."

Kerry started to speak but Susan interrupted her, "De...Jing-Mei, ask me whatever your question is. Kerry is off."

As Chen walked towards Susan, Kerry mouthed, "Thank you" and Susan raised an eyebrow.


	11. Chapter 11

Kerry walked into her kitchen and plopped herself down in a chair. She almost jumped through the roof as a plate appeared in front of her. She looked up, "Jeanie."

Jeanie nodded, "You look like hell, eat, where have you been? We finally got itchy and called the hospital, they said you left hours ago."

"We?"

Jeanie shrugged, "Kim finally let jet lag get the better of her. Course, she took a train, so I'm not sure how she got Jet lag. I fell asleep here. Not an entirely uncomfortable counter top."

Kerry poked at her food, "That was humor huh?"

Jeanie looked concernedly at Kerry, "Yes Kerry, what's wrong. Is Sandy okay?"

Kerry pushed the plate aside, "She might be paralyzed from the waist down. But they don't know for sure yet, it is too early. Even so, she has basically given up on herself." Jeanie unobtrusively pushed the

plate back in front of Kerry. "I wish Adele wasn't so busy these days."

"Adele?"

"Sandy's cousin, by marriage I think. They might even be like second or third cousins. I'm not sure of the specifics." Kerry took a bite of her food, "They've always been close friends anyway. Plus last year

Adele was shot, and suffers from paraplegia as a result. Though her shoulder width seems to be growing." Jeanie stared back at Kerry, "That was a joke Jeanie."

Jeanie nodded and shook her head to clear the cobwebs, "Oh, right. Kinda humorous. What are you worried about though?"

Kerry leaned forward on the counter pushing the plate away again, "What if she does something that she...well, I guess she wouldn't really regret it..."

Jeanie looked between Kerry's pale visage and the plate of food, "Look, I'll answer that, but you have to eat."

Kerry sighed and actually looked down at the food, "Hey, this is what

I was making."

Jeanie rolled her eyes, "C'mon, I'm not that bad a cook."

Kerry raised an eyebrow but girded her loins and took a bite. With her mouth full she spoke, "Mmrummph...twith twates tood..."

Jeanie laughed, "That's good. C'mon, who am I going to tell?"

Kerry swallowed the food and took another bite before speaking, "I blew up at her. As usual I managed to totally screw over a relationship because of my temper. God, Kara was right, I'm such a bad friend. I can be the best lover in the world," Jeanie swallowed, "And the most respectful acquaintance you've ever had." Jeanie nodded, "But I suck as a friend."

Jeanie frowned, "You're giving yourself the short end of the stick. You were there for me all through my diagnosis with both HIV and Hepatitis C. You were there for Carol when she wanted to throw away

her career, and when she became pregnant. You were even there for Doug on occasion. Plus the fact that you are there for strangers every day. You have this extrasensory part of your being. You're always the first one to know anything that happens in that hospital, good or bad. Give yourself more credit Ker."

Kerry slowly nodded, no emotion showing on her face, "I guess you're right. I...we should..."

Jeanie's voice got quiet, "Listen to me Kerry Phoenix Weaver, damn I wish I knew your maiden name..."

One side of Kerry's mouth curled up a half an inch, "Wesley"

Jeanie nodded seriously, "Listen to me Kerry Phoenix Wesley Weaver, Kerry Wesley sounds so screwed up you know that? You're name when you were younger was really Kerry Wesley? No wonder you married the guy, he had a normal name."

Kerry tried to keep a straight face, she tried hard, but instead she collapsed in a laughing fit, "Yes, and I survived."

Jeanie put away the washed dish, "You've survived a lot of things. Most recently coming out to the world. How did you do it? I mean..."

Kerry nodded, "I know what you mean...I just...I think that my brain is on permanent fart."

Jeanie laughed, "You know, I'm gonna have to have a talking to with Kim and Sandy, because before you realized which team you really were affiliated with you were so much more...reserved, well-behaved, tell me you don't know how to burp the alphabet."

Kerry shook her head with a smile, "Not yet, neither Sandy or Kim can do it..."

Jeanie chuckled, "Right, well, we should get some sleep, since you're probably on tomorrow, and I...I have somewhere to go..."

"Shit" Jeanie jerked her head up, and Kerry blushed a little, "Well, umm...couch is taken, bed two is taken...crap crap crapity crap."

Jeanie shrugged, "Well, if you promise to behave yourself..." she laughed at her own joke, but Kerry saw a very familiar glint in Jeanie's eyes.

Kerry nodded, "Works for me...I'll try my best." She recovered with a bit of a smirk.


	12. Chapter 12

**Three Days Later**

* * *

Jeanie walked up to Kerry at the admit desk. Kerry finished what she was doing and looked up, "Jeanie, hey, what are you doing here?"

Jeanie didn't say a word, just tilted her head down towards her chest. Kerry looked and her eyebrows rose to her hairline, "You're kidding?"

Jeanie shook her head, "Nope, Dr. Anspaugh finished up my re-orientation..." Jeanie shook her head, "...my re-acquaintance with the hospital this morning. So, what do you want me to do Doc? That

seems to be your new nickname. Better than some..."

Kerry raised an eyebrow and turned to where she knew Randi was, "Did you brief her or something?"

Randi inclined one eyebrow and half her face curled into a half-sexy, half-cunning grin, "That information is on a need to know basis Doc."

Kerry shook her head and looked up as Susan approached, "What do you have Susan?"

Susan looked at Kerry suspiciously, "Why?" Kerry stared back at Susan, "A kid in exam three, why?"

Kerry closed her eyes for a moment, "Dr. Susan Lewis meet Jeanie Boulet, the ER's new PA, Jeanie, meet Dr. Susan Lewis. I believe you two..." Kerry slammed the chart she had been looking at down on the desk. "know each other..."

Jeanie and Susan blinked as Kerry got control of herself, she took a deep breath, "Right, Jeanie, you've worked here before, nothing has changed. I'll be in my office if anyone needs me..."

Susan blinked as she picked up the kid's chart, "Wow, that was a mood swing if I ever saw one. What's up with her?"

Jeanie shrugged, "I think that she might be a bit stressed out. But she won't open up to anyone." Jeanie hurfed, "You'd think with a Psych Doc living downstairs that that wouldn't be possible."

Susan rolled her eyes, "Anything is possible with Weaver."

* * *

Kerry glanced up as Gallant crashed into her door and bounced off with an 'oof' and a swear. "Ma'am, it's..." Gallant took a sucking breath, "Dr. Greene..."

Kerry was around the desk in a moment. "Well, let's go..."

They both rushed towards the main part of the ER, and one of the trauma rooms. Elizabeth was outside it trying to get in. Kerry interposed herself between Elizabeth and the door."

Elizabeth didn't like when Kerry took hold of one of her shoulders, being careful about Ella, "Let me through. Damn you Kerry, I work here, he's my husband. Damn you. Let me the fuck through."

Randi came over and tried to help restrain Elizabeth a bit. Rachel wasn't moving at all, barely breathing. She finally quietly spoke, "They're stopping..."

Elizabeth's eyes got wide and she shifted from staring down at Kerry to through the glass at her husband. She shoved Kerry with all her strength, but Kerry wouldn't budge, "Let me through."

Kerry spoke softly, "Give me Ella."

Elizabeth blinked and laid the baby in Kerry's arms, "Please."

Kerry moved to one side and nodded to Randi who also let go of Elizabeth. She went shooting into the room followed by a slower Rachel. Kerry rocked Ella trying to get her to settle down, "Shhh...pretty girl. Shhh...Bella Ella. You know, your name isn't the most creative one, yeah, you know that don't you...but you're a Bella Ella...Shhh..." Kerry rocked Ella who quieted down a bit.

She looked up to find the ER gaping at her. She readjusted Ella and spoke, "I'm going to be up stairs visiting someone. Call me if you need me, or if Elizabeth is looking for Ella."

* * *

Kerry got out of the elevator and groaned inwardly when she saw Romano coming the other way. Romano smirked, "Legaspi works fast huh Kerry?"

At this new sound Ella started crying again, "Well Robert, you did always have a unique way with the ladies. Shhh...Bella Ella it is only disgruntled Uncle Rocket leaving for his imposed community service." Ella suddenly grabbed at Kerry's nose. "Now, if you'll excuse me Robert." With that she left a gaping Romano standing there, and walked down to where Sandy's room now was.

She was surprised when she found not only Sandy, but also Kim and Sandy's doctor in the room. She started to leave the room again, but Kim moved in front of her, and Sandy spoke, "No, stay, please. I don't know if I can hear this...you're the one who...please...stay."

Kerry looked down at the content Ella, "If that's what you want Sandy."

Sandy nodded and everyone looked towards the doctor, "Your injury occurred at the S5 level. All things considering that is good. Another thing in your favor is that it is incomplete."

Sandy blinked, "Well, incomplete sounds good. Does that mean I can recover. And more importantly, can I pee by myself?"

This didn't throw the doctor, "Since it is an incomplete injury of the nerve, there is a higher percentage chance that you could still have regular bowl movement. We have a few more tests to run. What we want to do is set you up with a Rehabilitation schedule."

Sandy nodded seriously, "So what does S5 mean anyway." The doctor whipped out a 3-D spinal model. "What did you have that in your back pocket?"

The doctor smiled a little, "The injury occurred down here, this means that you should have abdominal control, and control of everything above that. Usually people also have minimal upper leg control, but

that varies. A lot of this depends on which nerves were severed and which still remain. From some of the assessment test we've given you."

Sandy interrupted, "Oh, you mean like the one with the pin, that hurt like hell by the end you know."

Kerry interrupted Sandy, "Isn't that a good thing?"

Sandy looked over at Kerry and Ella and blinked, "You are right...it is a good thing isn't it."

The doctor cleared his throat, "As...I was saying. From those you didn't seem to have any feeling below your thighs. On the other hand, when we did muscle assessment, you seemed to have pretty high muscle control in those areas. I'd say that you are hovering between a D and an E on the ASIA scale."

Sandy stared at the doctor, and looked towards Kerry, "I assume that he's not talking about an Asian lady and the alphabet?"

Kerry shook her head, "An E on the ASIA scale basically equals non-paraplegia except for weakness, minor muscle spasms, and possibly hyperreflexia."

Sandy winced, "Mmm...that one I know..."

Kerry paid no attention to Sandy's interruption, "A D on the ASIA scale is..." Kerry concentrated. "There is preservation of motor function below level of injury with the majority of key muscles with a

muscle strength grade of 3 or better."

The doctor looked surprised at Kerry's recitation of the definition. "Right...Dr. Weaver is correct. It could go either way, we have to see, but there is a larger chance that you will be D instead of an E."

Sandy nodded, "Will I be able to walk at some point in the future."

The doctor nodded, "Yes, but most likely with the assistance of crutches and/or braces."

Sandy shrugged, "I guess that is a positive. Well, I guess that we should get on with the tests huh?"

Kerry got up and Sandy spoke to her, "Thanks for being here. Looks like this whole thing is just boring to some people..."

Kerry was confused for a second, until Ella shifted in Kerry's arms, Kerry smiled, "Ah, Bella Ella. I'll come back up to see you later 'kay? Without the cute one."

Sandy nodded and Kerry walked out the door. She had almost gotten to the elevator when she heard her name being called. "Kerry...Kerry..."

Kerry winced when Ella woke up again. Kerry whispered to Ella, "Shhh Bella...here comes another one of your malcontented Aunts..." She straightened up as Chen approached, "Yes Dr. Chen."

Chen frowned when she saw Ella, "Is that...whatever...I need..."

Kerry held up a hand when Ella started crying harder, "Come on little Ella, just for a few more minutes, we're going to see your Mommy and sis, okay. Shhh...Bella Ella..." She spoke to Chen, "Dr. Chen, for the last six days I have been on for almost four and half of them. And so most of the time that you are on I am on. Now, during those four and a half days, you have managed to come to me seemingly every single time that you have hit a bump in the road. But you see, you aren't on the Resident Road anymore Dr. Chen. You were hired back here as an Attending with the understanding that in your absence you had gotten a clearer view of how to be a doctor. I have no problems with your beside manner, but unless it is a major trauma, or an unusual case that you cannot figure out on your own. Please...don't come to me, Ma..." Kerry closed her eyes, "Susan, Luka, even Carter doesn't come to me with every single case. I'm your supervisor not your mother. If someone has an infection because of an ingrown hair, DEAL with it."

With that Kerry kept walking towards the elevator. As she stood there she kept rocking Ella. She felt a hand on her back, "Kim."

Kim stood next to Kerry and they climbed into the empty elevator. "Are you off?"

Kerry nodded.

"Having trouble with Chen?"

Kerry stared down at Ella, "I'm dealing."

Kim kept her mouth shut but raised an eyebrow, "Dr. Greene..."

Kerry looked up and changed the subject, "Why are you here?"

Kim frowned, "You didn't hear. Gonna have to tell Randi that..." Kim looked up when Kerry didn't laugh, "That was a joke. Carl was..." Kim put a hand on her head, "He and his wife were going on their annual March getaway to somewhere warm. I'm the Interim Chief of Psychology."

"I'm sorry. You and Carl...you were close?"

Kim shook her head, "Not...not really. We were close colleagues, but Kara..."

Kerry nodded, "You wanna head over to Doc Magoos after I drop off Bella Ella?" Kim nodded and they didn't speak the rest of the way down.


	13. Chapter 13

Kerry and Kim stared at each other from across the slightly sticky table at Doc Magoos. "So.." Kim trailed off.

"So..." Kerry racked her brain for something to say, "Did Kara get moved back into her apartment okay?"

Kim nodded, "Yeah, without a hitch. My parents were disappointed not to meet you, but Jeanie seemed to keep them amused."

Kerry nodded, "She can be humorous sometimes. I think that I'm going to ask Sandy if she wants to stay at my place for a bit, downstairs, if that's okay with you. Her apartment is definitely not handicapped accessible, but the downstairs apartment is accessible even by wheelchair."

Kim nodded, "Used the couch before, comfortable couch actually... don't know why you have it downstairs." Kerry shrugged.

They lapsed back into silence, Kim spoke up again, "Jeanie likes you...in a Thanksgiving Dinner way."

Kerry shrugged, "I know."

"Are you going to do anything about it?"

Kerry bantered back, "You mean, like you did?" Kerry shrugged as Kim recoiled at the words.

They were silent for a while until Kim started again, "Ella has really grown up. Did you give her that nickname?"

"Bella Ella?" Kim nodded, and Kerry continued, "Yeah, Ella is just so..."

"Boring..."

Kerry nodded, "Exactly. So, you work at County again. Bet that chafed Robert's ego a bit."

Kim shrugged, "I guess, haven't seen him yet."

"We have a staff meeting tomorrow..."

"I know..." Kim folded her hands in front of her, "I'm sorry."

"What?"

Kim swallowed, "I'm sorry."

Kerry shrugged dispassionately, "You mean for running to San Francisco and away from me without saying anything, not even a message on my answering machine? Apology accepted."

Kim frowned, "That's it."

Kerry shrugged, "I've moved on. You'd moved on before you even left."

Kim moved around in her seat a bit, "Are you going out with Sandy?"

Kerry shook her head, "You her shrink now?"

It was Kim's turn to shake her head, "No, she said that someone with red hair set her straight about her thinking. She stated very clearly that she wouldn't listen to me if she was dying. So...nope..."

Kerry smiled a little, "Tell me if you see that red head. Could use her help."

Kim's eyebrows creased together, "You want to try again?"

"No."

Kim blinked a few time, "Okay, how about friends? Do you think that we can do friends?"

Kerry shrugged, "We did it before. Just tell me I don't have to be bitchy like Christie and I'll say yes."

A smile inched its way onto Kim's face, "No, you don't have to be bitchy like Christie."

"Do I get to check out your prospective girlfriends?"

Kim raised an eyebrow, "So, you're saying that you're not going out with Sandy anymore? Just friends? She's kinda fiery..."

Kerry nodded.

* * *

Kerry walked into the ER and took a deep breath, she had a damn staff meeting today. She looked around, Randi was at the desk, Carter was with a patient or family member in chairs, Gallant was furiously writing something down by the admit desk, and Susan was standing at the desk doing nothing but staring down. Kerry rolled her eyes and changed into her lab coat so that she looked like a doctor as opposed to just being a doctor.

When she came out of the lounge she glanced back over at the Admit desk and saw that Susan was still standing there. She moved to where Susan was standing, "What's up?"

Susan glanced up and then frowned, "Um, I had the weirdest complaint today." Kerry didn't say a word, "Oh, I'm off by the way..."

Kerry nodded, "What was the complaint?"

Susan looked around, "Could we go into your office, or the lounge?"

Kerry blinked, "Okay, this seems like an office matter. How are you doing with that report by the way?"

Susan groaned, "You know, I thought that this was a good thing when Robert gave me this position. I was like, hey, how hard can it be..." Kerry raised an eyebrow, "Kerry, how the hell do you do it, and still be doctor. It isn't the paperwork, or the teaching. Those things aren't so bad. How the hell do you put up with the pig ass that calls himself Rocket?"

Kerry shrugged as she sat down behind her desk, "You get the hang of it after three or four years..." An envelope caught her eye on her desk. She put it to one side to remember to take home, since it didn't

look like it had anything to do with hospital business. "So, what was this complaint."

Susan made a pained face, "This person didn't tell me until after the person had already filed the complaint upstairs..."

Kerry mouthed a name to herself, and Susan blinked, surprised that Kerry knew who had filed the complaint, "Yes, anyway, the person is alleging that you sexually harassed her."

With that Susan sat back and waited for the lava to start flowing from the eruption. Instead she was surprised when Kerry simply shook her head. "I shouldn't be surprised. Just remember one thing Susan, Romano might not like it when you say no to him, but you can." Kerry shook her head, "And I think he gets a perverse pleasure out of it. So don't take any crap from him, because eventually, he's gonna piss off the wrong person, maybe then he'll get what's coming to him."

With that Kerry got to work on some paperwork, Susan took this as her cue to leave. Susan was still shaking her head as she went back to the Admit desk to pick up what she needed to bring home. "I just told Weaver something that should have shot her from here to Pluto and back, and she gave me advice for doing her job."

Randi shrugged and responded distractedly, "Dr. Kovac should get it, but you will because he isn't "American"..."

Susan did a double take, "Then you know all about it. Why didn't Weaver explode?"

Randi shrugged, "She hasn't been acting like herself for a while. Quieter than usual, hasn't said anything about stopping the betting pools since the bombing."

Susan swept a hand through her hair, "Did she lose anyone in it?"

Randi held a hand to her chest, "I'm supposed to know that sort of..." Susan stared back at Randi, who shrugged, "Not that I know of, Kim was in San Fran, Sandy'll live, Jeanie's even back in town."

Susan frowned, "I know that this isn't in your job description, but could you keep an eye on Kerry? I'm worried..." Randi raised an eyebrow at this, "Oh come on, I'm not always the fastest to catch on but I'm not an idiot. Something is going on with her..."

Randi nodded and Susan picked up her various binders and left, Randi mumbled, "I do anyway. Why don't you."


	14. Chapter 14

Romano shuffled his papers, and tapped them on the desk. "So then, no one has anything else to add? Dr. Legaspi?"

Kim raised an eyebrow and shook her head negatively, "I'm settling in fine Dr. Romano."

Romano nodded towards Kim, "That's good. Then this meeting is adjourned. Kerry, I'd like you to stay for a moment."

Kerry frowned but didn't move out of her seat. Kim looked at Kerry speculatively, Kerry shook her head, "I'll be fine Kim."

Kim raised an eyebrow but shrugged and left. Kerry faced Dr. Anspaugh and Romano. "So, are you going to suspend me, fire me, throw me to the wolves?"

Dr. Anspaugh started to speak, but Romano interrupted him, "We have to suspend you, since it is internal."

"Ah, double standards then. You harass a woman, maybe comment on her ass, or her breasts, and it is called the boys club, I get accused of...hell, I barely know what I'm accused of, and I get wrung out to

dry. Would you like my resignation now? Or after the 'hearing'?"

Romano swallowed, "Now, now Kerry, I didn't say that. I don't believe her."

Dr. Anspaugh's jaw hit the table, "Did I hear you say what I think you said Robert?"

Romano nodded, "The problem is that she says that it happened earlier in the year, that you took her aside and made crude and unwanted sexual remarks." Kerry's eyebrows took up residence in her hairline. Romano pursed his lips, "Yeah, that's what I said. I mean, sure, you've got this whole lesbian thing going on, but you're about as sexual as rock."

Dr. Anspaugh's face had a frown that had taken up residence, "Robert..."

Romano turned towards Dr. Anspaugh, "Donald, she knows I..."

Kerry interrupted Romano, "Look, insult me all you want, I don't give a flying fuck. What are you going to do about it?"

Romano turned back to Kerry, "Do you remember being alone with her at any time during this past year?"

Kerry closed her eyes. When she opened them they were morose, "Yes, it was right after she came back. I wanted to make sure that during a critical trauma she wouldn't go against my authority. She had an attitude, I wanted to make sure that didn't get in the way of Patient Care."

"Did it?"

Kerry shook her head, "No, I assumed that she got the message. That was the day we worked on little Ella. When Rachel nearly killed her."

"Was anything else said?"

Kerry started to shake her head negatively, but stopped, "Yes, she stated that if we weren't getting along that maybe I should be the one to quit."

Romano nodded, "Well, she hasn't done any more than file a complaint, so that is in your favor. How many vacation days do you have left?"

Kerry raised an eyebrow, "Vacation days." she enunciated the words slowly.

Romano nodded, "I'm trying to help you here Kerry, believe it or not."

"So I don't get a two week suspension, or get fired a month or two after the fact?"

Romano started to speak but Dr. Anspaugh interrupted him, "We're on your side Kerry. Please, take some vacation days, let us work this out."

Kerry shifted her focus from between Romano's eyes to Dr. Anspaugh's face, "I don't plan to burn for this Donald. I did not, and would never make any sort of sexual comments to a co-worker."

Romano raised an eyebrow suggestively but didn't comment, "I assume that you'll be able to work out the schedule for your absence? Even in light of Dr. Greene's unfortunate passing away?"

Kerry nodded as she slowly got up, "Yeah, yeah I will." With that she walked out the door.

* * *

Jeanie plopped down on the couch next to Kerry, "So, what's up?"

"Obviously not my life, I'm sitting here reading a cat mystery."

Jeanie tried to get more comfortable on the couch, "I thought you were a dog person?"

Kerry shook her head and put down the book, "No, not really, guess my attitude just jives more with cats than dogs."

Jeanie had a glint in her eye, "Then what would you say to the idea of receiving a couple?"

Kerry swung her head to meet Jeanie's eyes, "Ah, classic set up. Why?"

Jeanie tilted her head back and forth, "Well, you see, I have a friend, and her cat just had kittens, and there are these two that appear to be twins."

Kerry interrupted Jeanie, "That can happen?"

Jeanie shrugged, "You're the doctor."

Kerry rolled her eyes, "Yeah, human doctor. Well, they don't have to be walked, and'll have to be litter trained." Jeanie's face scrunched up in an 'eww' look. Kerry shrugged, "I guess...I mean, heck, we have

four people in the house, someone's almost always going to be home. Sure, but I still think it was a set up..."

Jeanie smirked, "I never reveal my secrets, and these two will bring you out of any sort of funk that you're in."

Kerry frowned, "Who's in a funk, I'm not in a funk. Do I smell funky?"

"Your just more in a downward spiral right?"

Kerry shrugged, "I've had some curves thrown my way, I'm dealing with them. What are you...my Psychiatrist?"

Jeanie smiled, "No, but if you don't watch out, and stop using baseball references, I'll sic Kim on you."

Kerry smiled a fake smile, "See, happy, there we go...all happy..." The telephone rang, "Before I get too happy and float into the upper atmosphere I'm gonna answer this."

Jeanie rolled her eyes and left Kerry to her call. "Dr. Weaver." Kerry's frown reappeared on her face, "But it has only been a week. No, of course I want to come back. She really did that? The little bi...yes, I'm aware, of course, it is my job Donald." Kerry closed her eyes, "Yes, I'll be in as soon as possible Donald. No, you know, relaxing, what people do on their enforced vacations. Yes, very humorous. Bye Donald."

* * *

Sandy closed her eyes for moment, but opened them back up when she heard the door open, and the uneven gait of Kerry step into the house.

Kerry eventually made it into the kitchen and sat down at the island across from Sandy. "You're glum..."

"Pot's calling the kettle black huh..."

Kerry shrugged, "So, what's your excuse?"

Sandy poked at her thigh, "Sure, I think that I might actually be able to walk again, live life kinda like before. But I'm never gonna feel my legs. It sucks..." Kerry raised an eyebrow, "What? I don't always

swear. What's your excuse?"

Kerry shrugged, "Have the doctors told you that you won't get feeling back?"

Sandy shook her head negatively, "Of course not, why would they actually tell a patient anything at all...much better to keep her in the dark and..."

Sandy trailed off as she realized Kerry was intently staring at her with one of her eyebrows now taking up new residence permanently in her hairline, "Excuse me?"

"Watch out, you're face might stick that way."

Some how Kerry made the eyebrow go up a centimeter farther, "Would you like me to talk to him?"

Sandy winced, "That is worse than having your mother go to the school principal..." Sandy stared at Kerry, "Doesn't that hurt?"

"You're changing the subject Lt. Lopez."

Sandy finally reached over the counter and physically shoved the eyebrow back down to where it should have been, inadvertently gouging Kerry in the eye. "Yes I am...what are you going to do about it?"

Kerry took a deep breath, "Squint at you evilly with my one remaining good eye. So, where is Kim anyway...she would be the next one to try to pry into my psyche right?"

Sandy jabbed her head backwards, "Still asleep, she gets the night shift. What is up your ass anyway?"

"Knew that Sand was lurking somewhere in there...nothing. Nothing is wrong okay? How would you react if you got accused of sexual harassment, had one of your attendings die, who you for some odd

reason used to think of as a bit of a friend, had one ex's sister almost die, have another ex be literally inches away from being a paraplegic. And to top it all off, have your best friend come back into your life unannounced after a year of silence and find out that she is in love with you."

Sandy blinked, "Jeanie told you this?"

Kerry shook her head, "No, but hey, keep in mind I've been on the other side of the equation. I think I'm dealing with everything pretty well thank you."

Sandy put a hand up, "You want to know what I would do, I would get mad, angry, rant some, to someone, anyone. You have three other people living in this house, and yet not one of us has seen you get angry at all that has happened, or sad, or some sort of emotion other than annoyance."

Kerry stared at Sandy for moment before she grabbed an apple and left the room with very punctuated steps.

Sandy leaned her head on her hands. "Well, that went well."

Kim came up behind Sandy and laid a hand on her back, "What went well?"

Sandy smiled as Kim took a seat across the island from her. But the expression soon sobered, "Kerry stormed out of here. Definitely pissed at me, plus, she's onto our little triple team of her."

Kim took a deep breath, "Guess it's my turn huh?"

Sandy smiled, "Hey, before you go, toss me that apple will ya? I'd get up but..."

Kim smiled, and reached with her long arm backwards but couldn't reach the basket with the apples in it. She tilted back on the stool a little and suddenly, she disappeared from Sandy's view with an oof.

Sandy started laughing uncontrollably. On the floor Kim sat with many apples on various parts of her body. "Uh huh, laugh, I'll have you know, my ass is very sensitive, and my pride even more."

Sandy smirked, "I'll have to keep that in mind. So, am I gonna get my apple?"

Kim slowly stood up her eyes glinting, "Oh, I'll give you an apple."

Sandy started laughing again, and spoke in bursts, "C'mon, I'm a poor defenseless cripple, remember..."

Kim climbed up onto the island and moved towards Sandy with two apples in her hands. In the same motion that she kissed Sandy firmly on the lips she slipped the apples down Sandy's loose shirt. When Kim moved back to her now upright stool Sandy looked down and back up at Kim, "Just remember one thing Kimmy, paybacks are a bitch."

Kim rolled her eyes, "Ah, you talk tough..." Kim walked out of the room mumbling, "Poor defenseless cripple my ass..."

Sandy smiled.


	15. Chapter 15

Kerry picked up the walk around phone, and took a deep breath. She looked down at the piece of paper on the end table and slowly punched in the numbers. "Hey Maggie..." Kerry moved over to a chair in the corner by the window, "Right, no, you could say that. Look, I have a favor." Kerry rolled her eyes, "Get your head out of the gutter, not that kind of favor. Cute...right. No, how about tomorrow? I'm off

at..." Kerry thought for a moment, "five I think." Kerry waited listening to the other side of the conversation, "Six then, yeah, no, I didn't know anyone. Yeah, okay, see you then."

Kerry put down the phone and walked over to her bed. She sat against he headboard and leaned her head back. She was startled when the bed shifted. She opened her eyes, "Kim."

Kim nodded and smiled, "So...what'cha doin'? Getting ready to do something really fun and exciting?"

Kerry tilted her head to one side, "I'm sitting here Kim. You seem to be on a sugar high though."

Kim's smile infused the room, clearing away some of the grayness, "Something like that. My family is alive, I'm working at County again and stretching my doctoring muscles, we're friends again, I made a new friend in Jeanie, and I...well...I'm just happy..."

"You can finish your thought Kim. You and Sandy are big girls."

Kim nodded soberly, "I guess it is just kinda..."

"Weird?"

Kim smiled a little, "Now, I hope that you don't mean that in a lesbian sort of way." Kerry simply raised an eyebrow in response. "Are you doing okay Ker? You seem kind of, off?"

"Off?"

Kim blinked a few times, "You know, not your jolly self. Hell, the ER personnel are all starting to think that you've gone crazy. Susan is even worried."

"Ah, positioning herself. Waiting for me to crack."

Kim frowned, "No dammit, she's worried about you. We all are?"

"Shouldn't I be worried about you? You're the one who almost lost her sister. Or worried about Sandy, she's never going to feel her legs ever again. Or worried about Jeanie? I'm the one coming out of all

this unscathed right?"

Kim growled almost inaudibly, "You never take care of your own damn self, why is that?" Kerry shrugged, "Well, explain to me why the hell you won't?"

Kerry shrugged again and Kim got up off the bed, "Fine, you don't want us to worry about you. We won't. Sometimes Weaver...you...you piss me off..."

Kerry sighed as Kim left the room, "Sometimes I piss myself off..."

Kerry looked to one side where an envelope rested. She brought it to her, and ripped it open with a finger. "Ouch...dammit." She looked down at the new paper cut, "Well, this is just totally my day isn't it." She pulled the letter out from the envelope and scanned it. Her expression didn't change at all except around the eyes. Her eyes lost a little of the fire that had been present when she was being obtuse with Kim. "Oh...figures" She looked up towards the ceiling. She crumpled the paper up in a ball, and shot it towards the waste basket on the other side of the room. It went in without touching the sides. She looked down at the envelope and Frisbee'd it towards the same wastebasket, it fell short. As it fluttered down the buisness' name could be seen on it. "Colven, Matrie & Jones"


	16. Chapter 16

"Hey Abby...have you seen Kerry today, I thought that she was supposed to be in. Actually, she hasn't been here for her past couple of shifts."

Abby shrugged, "You see her more than I do."

Kim frowned, "Actually she has been out of the house a lot, and then she's always asleep or gone when I'm at the house." Kim shook her head to clear it, "Anyway, any idea why I'm down here?"

Carter walked up to Kim, "That would be me." He handed her the woman's chart. "You definitely want to check her out."

Kim nodded and gestured that he should follow her, "What sorts of injuries does she have?"

Carter shook his head, "Not many, and the ones that she does have are superficial. That is the only thing that doesn't jive with me. But I'm definitely worried that she's gonna harm herself in some way."

Kim nodded, "Stay out here Carter..." Carter started to speak, "Abby, could you join me in the exam room? She probably needs something checked, isn't that always what you nurses are doing." Kim smirked while saying this statement.

Abby simply rolled her eyes, "You and Susan have to talk."

"God no..." Kim look around after she said this, suddenly realizing that anyone could have heard that particular comment as she had said it out loud. Abby rolled her eyes and they entered the exam room.

* * *

Kim slowly and methodically walked out of the exam room, "Frank."

Frank looked up, "Yeah Dr. Legaspi?"

Kim, with almost no force at all, placed a gun on the inside of the admit desk, "Would you be so kind as to call the police, and watch that until they get here. Then I want to speak directly to the head of

security in this place, I'm drawing the line in the sand..." She turned towards Carter, "You and I have to have a talk." She gestured towards the lounge.

* * *

Kim walked into Kerry's office, she was going to leave some paperwork that Kerry needed for tomorrow. She tilted her head to one side as she saw a piece of paper lying on the desk. It looked almost pristine except for the markings on it. As she put down her paperwork, she read it.

"There's a certain Slant of light,

Winter Afternoons-

That oppresses, like the Heft

Of Cathedral Tunes-

Heavenly Hurt, it gives us-

We can find no scar

But internal difference,

Where the Meanings, are-

None may teach it-Any-

'Tis the Seal Despair-

An imperial affliction

Sent us of the Air-

When it comes, the Landscape listens-

Shadows-hold their breath-

When it goes, 'tis like the Distance

On the look of Death-

-Emily Dickinson

Kyrie Elesion Me"

Kim stared down at the piece of paper, it had no signature, but was clearly in Kerry's unique handwriting. Kim read it over one more time, and slowly things started to click into place. "Just frickin' perfect..fuck, fuck, fuck." Each repetition of the would fuck got louder and louder.

Jeanie glanced in to the office to see what was the matter, "Very verbose Kim? What's the matter."

Kim grabbed the letter and shoved it at Jeanie, she scanned it quickly and her eyes got large. "Does this...God..." Kim nodded and she and Jeanie rushed out of the office.


	17. Chapter 17

Kim was breaking all sorts of laws, and Jeanie was trying not to puke her guts up. "Slow down dammit Kim."

Kim ground to a halt at a stop light and started drumming her fingers on the steering wheel. "It is soundproofed, she knows this, she did it. Something about sex noises or knowing too much information about her tenants love lives. Plus everyone, even Carter, never liked her music. Damnit why the fuck won't you change color...go green already...God, what if she has already done it Jeanie...what will we do?"

Jeanie stared out the window and didn't even hear Kim. Although, Kim was at a point where she wasn't even listening to herself. "When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you."

Kim glanced over as the light turned green. She floored it, "What?"

Jeanie shook her head, "N-nothing. Let's just make sure that all she did was take off early."

They were silent the rest of the way to Kerry's, and their, apartment. Kim could barely get the door open with her key. She stumbled into the Kitchen and stopped dead in her tracks.

Jeanie bumped into Kim's back and moved to the side to see what had made Kim stop so fast. The Kitchen was messier than Kim had ever seen it. Jeanie was through the kitchen into the living room in a moment. The living room looked exactly as it always did. Not a thing had been touched, it didn't even look as though the couch had been sat in yet. Jeanie continued down the hall, she checked the study.

No Kerry.

She took two steps down the hall and was in the bathroom. "Kim..."

Kim, using her long legs to her advantage, was there in before Jeanie could take in three breaths. "Oh lord." Kim put a hand to her head, "Keep...keep...look in the bedroom...I'll...I'll see if anything is

missing..."

Jeanie darted into the bedroom and dashed over to the bed. Her hand darted to Kerry's carotid pulse point. It was barely there. She also made sure that Kerry was breathing.

Kim was in the door a minute later. She frowned and also checked to see if Kerry had a pulse and was breathing. Kim started both going towards the door and looking around the bedroom. Jeanie saw the

envelope that Kerry had thrown there. She picked it up and opened it. Her eyes got large.

Kim had just gotten off the phone with 911 when Jeanie shoved the paper in her face. "Tip of the iceberg?"

Kim closed her eyes, "How could her birth mother do this. It was in her Will? Tell your daughter that you exist after you die..." Kim growled under her breath.

Jeanie shrugged and nervously checked Kerry's pulse again. Assured that the woman's heart was still beating she looked back up at Kim. "That is what it seems to say." Both women's heads perked up when they heard sirens getting closer. Jeanie beat Kim to the punch. "I'm going to go with her..."

Kim started to object but stopped, "Make sure they take her to County." "You're not going to..."

Kim stared at Jeanie, "No, but Dr. MacKenzie owes me a favor..." Kim went out to meet the EMTs.

* * *

Kerry threw up again. It was getting to be a habit, one that set her chest on fire. Of course, she had nothing to throw back up anymore. She had nothing to herself. She was sure that before long parts of her first session (of many) with Dr. MacKenzie would be all around the hospital. Oh, not from the doctor himself. He was way more professional than that, but somehow the grapevine would get a hold

of the little details. And then every day (if they let her come back to work in the ER) at work she would be given looks and barbs. "If only Maggie..."

"What?"

Kerry summoned the energy to lift her head up a fraction of an inch. Jeanie was the one who had spoken. "Nothing..." Jeanie was the last person she wanted to speak to.

"You're a bitch."

Kerry nodded, "I know..."

"I love you."

Kerry swallowed, "We were friends, of course."

"Sometimes you're an idiot you know that. Don't Sandy and Kim tell you that I practically drool when we are in the same room together. It is all Kim's fault by the way."

Kerry turned her head a bit from where she was lying. She didn't speak. Jeanie continued, "I read the letter that you had trashed. Well, actually, you need to work on your basketball skills, missed the trash by at least a foot."

It didn't phase Jeanie that Kerry didn't even get a glitter in her eye at this joke. "You're brilliant, caring, loving, and all you see is what people tell you about yourself. So what if you actually make people do some work in this god forsaken ER." Jeanie laughed, "Ker hon, you've got the least problems in this place."

"Not anymore."

"What did you mean about Maggie..." Jeanie swallowed, "Are you two..."

"God no..."

Jeanie raised an eyebrow, "I went to her to get something. She wouldn't give it too me."

"A gun?"

Kerry closed her eyes, "No, a pink elephant."

Jeanie smiled, but quickly snuffed it out when Kerry looked at Jeanie again. She thought, 'Sarcasm in residence, check'.

Jeanie held up her fingers and ticked them as she spoke, "Malucci, definite ass and I have never met him. Susan actually was looking out for you, Mark Greene, rest his soul, also an ass even though you were looking out for both his good and everyone else's. Chen, well, I won't go into Chen, she...it would take too long."

Kerry turned her head away again, "Fine, everyone is a bitch in the ER department. Don't know what it has to do with me."

Jeanie took a deep breath, "You hang onto stuff for so damn long. You live in the past Kerry." Jeanie shook her head, "Look...I have to get to work. But I'm not going away, you, even though you feel guilty for firing me, you did a damn lot to help me here. So I'm gonna be stickin' around until you get your..." Jeanie tilted her head to one side, "head out of your mighty fine ass."

* * *

Fin - March 26th, 2002


End file.
